if you care enough about this blog to wonder why i haven't posted anything lately (you probably haven't), it's because i love tumblr more than i love cream cheese.

parahsalmer.tumblr.com

i'm ready.

i feel very old... i drove myself to the bank in my own car and deposited a check. i've been earning my own money for 8 months now. i work too much. i am always tired. i pay for my car and insurance. i buy gas and food and clothes and i try to save money for college. i'm starting my senior year in a week...
i feel very young... my problems are juvenile. i feel immature, like the child that acts out to impress everyone.
i feel very alone... but i feel very loved.

and every day i feel more and more blessed.

...really big things are about to happen. my intuition is never wrong.

i'm going to try being optimistic for a day...

why don't i ever blog about happy things?

a summary of my nights.

i sit. nothing happens. i eat food. nothing happens. i stare at a screen. nothing happens. i read. nothing happens. i wait for a message or a ring or a doorbell. nothing happens. i want to cry. nothing happens. i am alone. and nothing happens.
i want to be wanted.